my stomach inflating
your stomach deflating
this retaliation looks like my twelfth year alive
tied bare? of course. your fetish turned to malice. apology? i couldn't be bothered...
stand in a circle, cloth disappeared. hands moving up and down, in and out. the two of us displayed in the middle, captions of our names in full.
get to the center if you're in search of any of this recognition
a brief collection of tracks that were composed between 2012-2013 and never really went anywhere. i'd like for all of the upper chief songs i make to have a recorded document, so here they are, recorded in many different ways.
the version of "cut, broadly" that appears here was recorded along with "delete it all" in feb 2014 with john molfetas. it reflects the vision of the song a bit more, but for a more reactionary version and an artifact of real teen angst and heartbreak and sorrow, etc., please see "an existence..." from 2012 (recorded about 1hr after a surreal, sad coffee date with an ex). this is a break-up jam that was written about two months before i broke up with my first serious / real-life partner. falling out of love, not being able to communicate, being a general baby. it reflects the awfulness of still feeling a bond with someone, but not one that is as passionate as it once was, or just unsustainable in this case.
"only vacation" is a very reactionary song from 2012 that, honestly, i don't feel much attachment to anymore, but aesthetically shows you where the upper chief project ultimately landed sonically. i re-arranged the song from its original form in the summer of 2014, so there's a bit of interference from its original form. but it's the same basically. to be blunt, the song is about posing hard, using the internet, and finding your place within a culture that tries so desperately hard to legitimize itself, canonize itself, etc. at the expense of other communities and ground-level activists.
also included are some bits from the recording session in 2012 that produced "an existence..." - unfortunately lost to chris' hard drive crashing is a version of "trust break" that was preceded by a speech on teen drinking. which, like, i still have mad feelings on but that's for another time.
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